Posts Tagged ‘depression’

The sun struggled to get through the suffocating blinds She leaned into the touch, which meant Mommy wouldn’t shout at me right now. I slipped my arms awkwardly around her. “I love you,” I whispered in her ear as she clutched at my hair. Her desperation scared me. I didn’t understand why she was sad and that scared me too. Some unknown monster had come to ruin everything again and Dad wasn’t around to help me.

Our tangled bodies shook with her sobs as I whispered words of comfort in her ear, not knowing what else to do. Nausea pushed my stomach through my throat and fear tried to propel me off the bed and out of the room. It took every ounce of my energy to hold my muscles in place. I wanted to be anywhere but there.

The hours ticked by and the terror never left, but exhaustion crept in. Fantasies of my bed crept through my mind, as my mouth continued to comfort her, my hand running across her back. Looking closely, I could see her eyes drifting shut. Freedom was almost in sight. Not soon enough, she fell asleep and I carefully shifted away before darting out of the room.

I peeked into Mimi’s room and saw my little sister sleeping soundly, no worries on her mind tonight. Relief jolted through my body and the knot in my stomach began to unwind. I crawled into bed, burrowing myself under the protective weight of blankets, and let out all my breath. I tried to will myself to sleep, but my mind refused to be quiet. Glancing at a clock, I realized it was already my 10th birthday. Maybe having double digits would help me be what Mom needed. I jumped in fright at a loud growl before realizing my stomach was the culprit. Well, too bad. There was no way I would chance running into my mother by getting a snack. I rolled over and stared out the window, watching the clouds drift by in the moonlight until I slipped into nothingness.