Archive for April, 2013

If someone never shows you love as well as verbally and occasionally physically abusing you, it makes sense to just write them off. They’re not worth your time.

But that’s not how it works.

You can’t control who you love but you can set boundaries. Once my sister goes off to college and is independent of our parents I plan on doing whats best for ME, not my family. In just a couple years I will have my own life. I can’t wait.

 

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Age 8:

Mommy was sad again. I could tell. She sat at her computer just like every other day, but she wasn’t doing anything. Each time I walked by, her hands rested in her lap as if trying to hold something easily broken. I finally crept up behind her and rested my hand on her shoulder. She jumped a mile high.

“Do you want to bake cookies? You said it was a good idea the other day,” I suggested, gently gripping a handful of her shirt.

“Don’t ever sneak up on me like that!” The venom in her voice froze me to the spot and guilt flooded my stomach. I obviously did something wrong. She yanked her shirt back out of my grasp and turned blankly back to her computer screen. I kept silent for a minute. Would Mommy get angry if I said anything else? But she was just so sad…

“It’ll be fun…” I trailed off, as she made no sound or move. It seemed almost like she couldn’t even hear me. But still I waited.

I barely heard her response, as she tiredly whispered, “Just not now. Another day.” She refused to meet my eye. I glanced at the back of her head again before soundlessly slipping out of the room. Mommy was still sad.

Austy, Mimi and I all stayed outside playing capture the flag until the other kids had to go home. Then we just went inside and played.

By the time Daddy got home from work, Mimi and I had already crawled, giggling,  into the bunk beds in Mimi’s room.  Bunk beds were more fun than my boring beds. Austin wasn’t tired yet since he was older.

Mommy hadn’t moved a muscle.