I have no clue how to do a handjob…

Posted: November 28, 2012 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

I am utterly clueless how to give a handjob or blow job. I know it may seem silly for me to be worrying over something like this when just over Thanksgiving break my grandma died and my mother slipped into another episode that she is still trying to shake off. But really this is what worries me now. At eighteen years old I am still a virgin. It hasn’t been from lack of people interested in me… I was a late bloomer since I was always focused on my family. I dated one person for about six months in my junior year of high school but we never progressed very far in our relationship. And I have had casual flings with a few other friends, but never made it too far there either. Family always came first.

Over the break, a friend of mine took me on a date. He claims to be very interested in me, though due to his past I doubt that. Anyways, things got a bit heated in his car later on. I wasn’t feeling too good so sex was out of the question. But he wanted a bit of help taking care of what I stirred up. Since he and I are so close I wouldn’t mind something between us, but that night I left him to take care of it himself… simply because I didn’t know how and didn’t feel like embarrassing myself.

I have always been too independent and too prideful for my own good. I hate being naive and innocent. I have no emotional attachment to my first time, just a hatred of feeling embarrassed that stems from the fact that I never ask for help. It’s just not how I grew up.

I always just up and did for myself what I needed. But this… involves two people.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s